Second-hand Cognitions

Classroom Funnies #4

2011-08-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

Another example of why I love teaching US History class to teenagers.

Student: (with a proud tone)“I just looked up all the presidents who were Democrat, so now I can think worse of them.”
Me: …
Student: “You are a Republican...aren’t you?”
Me: ...
Student: "Uh-oh."

destination d.c.

2011-08-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

Destination DC 2011

Just got back from a whirlwind trip with some of my favorite people. I can only think of a few moments where we didn't stand still. Here are the highlights of the trip:

Washington DC
This town is a true goldmine for my passion for government and history. I got to see loads of amazing things and experience the best of what the US has as a foundation with some of my amigos who relocated out there.

Monuments: Jefferson Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, War Memorials (WWII, Korea, Vietnam), Washington Monument, Arlington Cemetery

Houses of Government: The National Capitol building (including the House Floor and the Speakers balcony - Thanks Congressman Chaffetz and Tanner!, Supreme Court, White House, and of course...the phenomenal DC Metro.

The lovely gals I got to travel with!

Library of Congress: I even got a researcher card and checked out a book on Bermudian genealogy per my custom at every good library I encounter.
Smithsonian

This is the Apollo 11 capsule. It just took man back from the MOON. No big deal.

National Archives: Saw the Declaration of Independence. Yes, I did read the actual Preamble to the Constitution of the United States. The Bill of Rights is right there too.

Boston
Met up with some fabulous folks in New England and spent a power packed day in Boston. Finally got to go back to the north east and made some new friends at Walden Pond, Sleepy Hollow, and Harvard Square.

Becky at Thoreau's house (or at least a nice replica of his house)

I love New England cemeteries!

Walden Pond

NYC
This town is nuts, but amazing. Tons of energy; tons of people; tons of great food places are all to be had in Manhattan. It was blast. We shopped, worshiped, went to a great Broadway show, ran into some friends on the Brooklyn Bridge, got stuck in a rainstorm, and went to the Apple store on 5th that nets 1 million dollars a day.

This show rocks!Manhattan Temple makes 20 Cherie. FYI. :)

All in all, a great little jaunt to the East. If I am not too lazy, I will post all our food reviews.

Politically Speaking

2011-08-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

I am inclined to agree with this guy. Comments?

http://blogs.reuters.com/gregg-easterbrook/2011/08/01/the-phony-as-a-3-bill-debt-deal/

quote of the yesterday #10

2011-08-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

Another classic from the lunch tables:

Dude #1: What does NERF stand for?
Dude #2: Non-Effective Retarded Firearm.

Quote of the Yesterday #9

2011-06-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

Me: ...and that is how we get the amendments to the US Constitution.
Boy: I don't get it.
Me: What don't you get?
Boy: If they want to change something to the Constitution, why don't they just go in and do it? Why do they have to create all these extra amendments? Isn't that just wasting paper?

Me (thinking): Oh MS Word, what have you done to us?

Summer of Culture

2011-06-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

cul·ture (klchr)
Noun: Enlightenment and taste acquired by intellectual and aesthetic training. Acquaintance with the fine arts, humanities, and broad aspects of science.

Things I have Done This Summer So Far...

Read Les Miserables
Saw Les Miserables
Went to where a good portion of Les Miserables takes place

Made/consumed a bunch of ethnic cuisine
Gyros
Crepes
a real English breakfast...in England

Films of Culture
Castle of Castliostro
12 Angry Men = Awesome classic
Yojimbo 用心棒
The Band's Visit

Also...
-learning the finer points of digital photography
-went to the Louvre!
-fitted for a tuxedo

Not a bad start. And its still only June...

my TA is cool

2011-06-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

This summer I got my first full-time TA for my history class. He started last week, and all my grades are current and up to date for the first time in months! It is wonderful. Just another benefit to working at my awesome job.

This afternoon, something crazy happened. I helping one of my boys get caught up during my lunch, and we went a little over time into the last period of school. I asked him which class he was supposed to be in. "English class," he said. I figured I would walk him across the hall to let the English teacher know why he was late.

When we arrived at the door, I turned the latch. It was locked.

I tried my key...it wouldn't open.

We motioned through the little window pane on the door for the English TA to open the door from the inside...he couldn't make it unlatch.

We were locked out...and they were locked in!

Luckily, the CEO was walking down the hallway and I snagged him and informed him of the situation. A locksmith was called, and it didn't take long in my small school for word to get around that the folks in English were locked in.

Meanwhile, my TA got a piece of paper, some tape and a sharpie and posted this message on the window pane of the English class facing inward.

WE
WILL
MISS
YOU!

I'm glad the man has got a sense of humor.

Summer 2011 Photo Stash

2011-06-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

Click on the picture of me and the tulips to see some photos of my Europe trip.

Click on the canyon to see some of my recent excursions in Utah.

International #2

2011-03-08T20:49:00.001-08:00

In exactly one month I will be in another continent.
More on that to come.

Any suggestions on where to check out in France/Holland?

vacation quiz

2011-02-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Day off of work -check
Two feet of fresh powder -check
Pair of trusty snowshoes -check
Awesome picturesque canyon - check!!
Recharge the battery for camera....

Well, I always tell my boys that 4 out of 5 is still a decent score!
:)

Quote of the Yesterday #8

2011-02-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

A recent cafeteria exchange:

Little Dude: What's that in your bowl?
Big Dude: The Goldenest of Grahams mixed with the Raisinest of Brans.

best of 10'

2011-01-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

Some of these you've seen; most of them you haven't.

Enjoy.

(I certainly did.)

Happy New Year

2011-01-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

Apparently the leaders of my church congregations have some holiday traditions of their own...like asking me to speak in Sacrament Meeting around this same time every year! :)

Here is a link to today's installment. Happy 2011!

classroom funnies #3

2010-12-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

SAT Grammar- Learning about contraction and apostrophe rules:

Brian: Alright, some one give me an example of a proper contraction on the board.

Boy #1: (writes on white board) "Don't pee on the toilet seat!"

Brian: Hmm. I guess that works. Here Boy #2 you try it out now.

Boy #2: (writes right underneath) "Don't lie to me, I know it was you."

Classroom Funnies #2

2010-12-16T11:58:00.001-08:00

Another classic from the lunch tables.

Boy #1: My favorite music artists are Justin Bieber, Eminem, Biggy, and Carrie Underwood. Hands down.

Boy #2: Okay. If I gave you a gun, with one bullet, and you had to shoot one of them, which one would you choose?

Boy #1: (long contemplative pause)...I'd shoot myself. I love them all way too much.

classroom funnies

2010-12-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

So we are studying medieval Europe now in World Civ class. Last weekend the boys watched the new Sherlock Holmes film for fun time. Needless to say an action flick like that is still on their minds, and when you teach boys with ADHD, their mind are all over the place.

Here is an exchange that occurred between some sophomores I participated in:

Kid A: "Hey Brian, Sherlock Holmes was real right?!"
Best teacher ever: "Nope. He is just a cool fictional character."
Kid A: "Aw...(crestfallen pause)...I thought he was a real detective."
Kid B: "Don't worry man. Robert Downey Jr. is real though."
Kid C: "Truth."

Quote of the Yesterday #7

2010-11-15T20:35:00.000-08:00

"I didn't invent hip-hop, but I was there when it happened."

-The one and only Steve SP

Quote of the Yesterday #6

2010-10-23T14:29:00.001-07:00

C: "Err....a pothead??
D: "Umm, no. Johnny Appleseed!"

A failed demonstration of a Halloween costume.

attn: world

2010-10-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

FYI: Neither World War I or II occurred during the years of 1775-1840.

In fact, they didn't even occur in those centuries.

Remember this good people, and tell your family, your friends, your neighbor, and your neighbors friends.

Especially if your neighbor is friends with a 12-18 year old boy who is planning to someday take my 1st quarter US History final...

Thanks.

p.s. while you are at it, kindly remind them that we didn't successfully invade Canada during the War of 1812 either. :)

Relapse

2010-10-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

I work at a treatment center. We help deal with addictions among other things. I have experience challenging relapse of such addictions, sometime fairly intense ones...like yesterday.

ENTER the TRIGGER

So my boss came into my class after school and shared some good news. Scratch that. -Great news-

Turns out that he is going to start charging a higher fee for the SAT prep course our school offers for our boys. This fee is going to reflect closer to what normal SAT prep programs charge. Since normal SAT prep programs charge a ridiculously high rate, and since I currently constitute 1/2 of the SAT prep teachers at our school, this translates into a little more dinero than I previously anticipated.

ENTER the THOUGHT

I rode home feeling pretty swell about this new development. I never really include extra tutoring hours into the income side of my budget because they aren't really consistent. So all of a sudden I have a nice chunk of unexpected income that I didn't have before. Hmmm...what to do with this new development??

ENTER the RELAPSE

I got home, and immediately I spent the better part of the next four hours looking at sites like this.
Then I went to a church function for an hour.
Then I stared into this picture for like another whole hour salivating the entire time (mostly because I was eating Provo's best chimichanga while I was visually consuming specs like these).
Then a gorgeous girl stopped by and helped me break back into reality.

Yep. Some old behavior patterns will never go completely away if left unchecked...or un-pay-checked for that matter.

ENTER the GUILT, SHAME, and REMORSE...maybe

speed of life

2010-10-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I am proctoring a practice SAT for 4 my boys. Well....actually maybe just 3 of my boys. One of them hasn't shown up yet. (I keep thinking of the ole adage my high school physics teacher Mr. Kirby used to say when we were stupid. "This is you...at college.")

Anyway, my boys aside, I have discovered that proctoring a long boring test has one key benefit overlooked by convectional medical science!! Let me build some context. You see when I turned 20, my life changed drastically. When I was 19, life was running along at a nice casual pace. I turned 20, had a nice dinner that night and went to sleep without thinking twice about the occasion. When I woke up the next morning however, I was shocked. All of a sudden time seemed to accelerate to almost twice the speed of the prior two decades. My facial hair even grew faster (though at that point I was shaving it off fairly regularly). It was like I was in some sort of time vortex, I would look at the calendar and it was November 25th, then I'd look again and it was the Ides of March. Where did Winter even go???? (Don't worry, I didn't bother to look for wherever a silly season like winter went..)

Then when I turned 25, a similar phenomenon occurred yet again. This time, time just didn't speed up, the days actually got shorter. I don't know who was responsible, but I swear I have less time in a day now than when I was in college. How is that even possible? I don't even have homework anymore... All I do is work, sleep, eat, and hang out with cool people all day.

To the point: I found out that giving out this test to my boys this morning has a completely opposite effect! Time has actually slowed down and expanded by like three times its normal rate!!!

As I sit here and watch these kids take the SAT its almost like the world is taking a breath and holding it for as long as it can before it exhales and takes another. We started taking the test at 930 and its not even 10am yet?! Seriously, any other day of the week I would be having lunch right now and getting ready to peace out to an evening social activity. BUT NOT during a boring test.

I tell ya, its like riding the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland. You think it will be this fun quick ride, but once you go into that little boat and start down that dark tunnel, you feel like you have been in for hours by the time you get out into daylight again.

Anyways, people should seriously pay top cash money to give out a test like this if they want to reverse the aging process. I can't believe it. I think all 9 of my gray hairs just went back to their original coloring in just a few minutes. Haven't they made a couple films about this? If you ever want to reclaim your hold on time, just volunteer at some local high school.

I'm quite sure you won't have lots of competition. I don't think that many people have caught onto this little secret yet.

Quote of the Yesterday #6

2010-09-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

"Mental illness is more mental than it is illness."

-Therapist Pete

china trip - the real outdoors unlimited

2010-09-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

So now I am getting to the good part. After our little excursion to the Tibetan Plateau, the Sam-man and I took 2 adventures of which I am extremely proud. I will detail them epically and visually in this post.

Adventure #1 Qing Shan Mountain

So in the heart of Chengdu, there is a mountain. Its like the only big mountain around. They call it "The Mountain." It also happens to double as a Daoist temple complex. That temple complex also happens to double as a hostel. That hostel also happens to double as a live monkey preserve. Wait, did you say monkey preserve that you can both sleep and worship in?! Umm yeah, we totally needed to check this place out!

However, our story begins with a snag. Turn out there was an itty bitty 8.0 earthquake that rocked Sichuan province and almost destroyed the cool monkey temple we were going to stay at. When we got to "The Mountain," they told us that the temple was being rebuilt, and that we would have to try another temple about 1/2 way up the mountain. We were kinda razzed, but decided that we had come like thousands of miles to see cool temples (and hopefully monkeys) and sleep in one. So we elected to hike up the mountain with 1,000's of Chinese folk and see what we could see. Here is our quest.

Sam having his picture taken by me at the gate to Qing Shan Shan....

One of the 6 Chinese girls who took a picture of him at the gate!

One of my favorite shots of the trip. This is Sam ascending the stairs into the temple we stayed in. Such a cool feeling to walk into a thousand year old temple.

Remnants of the earthquake damage.

Another cool pagoda shot.

My favorite pagoda shot of the day. I was standing here for like 25 minutes just taking a break, and I didn't see a single person. We were way up in the jungle of the mountain.

One of the Daoist temples that was carved out of a cave. We can't take pictures inside, but there is a few statues of the Daoist deities, and a guy who tells your fortune if you pay him.

Sam and I trying to make a good pose for the cover of our new title album "Insane Buzzsaw Bugs: Sounds of Synthetic Nature"

One of my b/w shots of a pagoda in the bowels of the Daoist mountain.

This was taken in the hostel room we stayed in overnight in one of the temples on the mountain. We had two beds, two mosquito nets, a table, a tv, a hot water jug, and a light bulb.

One of the pathways we took during our exploration of the mountain. Just stairs, everywhere..

One of the many historical markers in Qing Shan Shan. This one gloats about how old the Daoist guys lived on the mountain. I didn't bring up any reference to Gen 5:27 for proprieties sake.

More stairs, more cool shots of stairs...

Chinese-English translation: Beware of falling meteors!
Lovely lush green jungle. It was breathtaking.

Adventure #2: Leh Shan "Home of the Largest Buddha in the World"

After we finished exploring the holy Taoist mountain, we decided to explore the holy Buddha mountain....or cliff...or statues. So we took a 3 hour bus to the largest Buddha in the world. It is an awesome site, the only trouble is that half of Asia was there the day we went too. It was packed with tourists, but we were victorious in our viewing quest.

Wicked cool stone art of the Dao.

Sam splashing his face with the water from the "holy fountain." I teased him for desecrating the most sacred fountain in western China, until another group of 10 people did the same thing 30 seconds later.

Sam deciphering the ancient texts of the Leh Shan temples.

Meditating, concentrating the chi, pondering the Dao, gathering universe juice...whatever you call it.

The largest Buddha statue in the entire world (and the longest line in the entire world waiting to take a picture below it).

The reed tunnel out of the Leh Shan. Bye bye Big Bhudda!

This was the terminal at the Chengdu airport that we were stuck in for 5 hours trying to get out of the town after our excursions to Qing Shan and Le Shan(This was one of the craziest experiences of my life by the way)

Up next on the list of China posts: Amazing Guilin