bad drivers

I debated a long time about whether or not to actually tackle this topic. It's a sensitive one with the locals, and odds are I might be in Utah for a couple more years. So know this blog reader: I put my reputation, good name, and livelihood at stake with this post. You may ask then, why am I taking this issue on? All things considered, it all comes down to the fact that I just don't like coming two feet from death or injury every time I go out on the open highway here in Utah.

Something needs to be said. Something needs to be done.

Let me begin by building up my credibility in the matter. I've seen all sorts of drivers. I learned to drive on the I-5 freeway in southern California. I wasn't behind the wheel for more than a few minutes before my pop ordered me to go northbound (at the peril of both my life and his) and taste freeway smog before my first bout with driving was complete.

Later in life I served my LDS mission in New England. There are two types of drivers there: crazy slow ones, and just plain crazy ones. The great thing about drivers from Massachusetts is that they use their horn almost as much as they use their brakes. I learned the "Boston crawl" and how one can muscle their way into any line of traffic. I learned the true essence of "slow riding" in Maine where the "freeway" (there's tolls all over the place) speed limit is 55 at its best (and I'm bound by solemn oath not to drive the church cars even 1 mile over the limit) with snow and slush aplenty. Then of course there's the dirt roads in Vermont where you discover how 4 foot potholes can form overnight (and how to properly employ NASCAR swerving technique to avoid them).

I've lived in Seattle where I swear has lowest amount freeway space per capita on the planet. Lets just say that it is no coincidence in my mind that Pearl Jam and 'traffic jam' have more than one common denominator.

Nuff said...I've seen lots of different drivers with a large range of driving ability. It all apexes into one point. When I am driving outside Utah, I fear for my fender. When I drive in Utah (particularly Utah Valley), I fear for my life.

As I have now lived in Utah for a cumulative 5 years now, I think I have finally narrowed it down to a few things that makes me the most anxious about Utah-bred vehicle operators: they consistently run red lights, and they don't use their blinkers...ever.

I can't count on less than two feet the number of times I see people run red lights in the city of Provo on any given week. To them, the yellow light doesn't direct you to slow down. Rather, a yellow light gives a Utah driver license to increase their forward speed by 2-3x. More often than not, this increase of speed is still ineffective to get them past the light before it turns red. People, learn this simple mantra my driver's ed teacher from the inner city taught me: when the yellow shows, you just gotta slow.

I learned a new term when I moved up to Utah: t-bone. Never heard of that one in California...just fender bender and 48-car pileup.

Then there's the issue of the blinkers (or lack thereof). I can't even count on one hand the amount of times today that I a car merged right into my lane, right in front of me mind you, and didn't use their blinkers. And I only drove a grand total of about 5.7 miles. Seriously folks, it is ridiculous. Somethings gotta give, or I'm sure one day my prized 97' Geo Prism is going to get sideswiped by some no-brained, no-blinker...er.

It's not that Utah drivers aren't aware of the cars around them, no I think they are plenty aware of the people they choose to cut-off. Its more of a matter of what they aren't aware of: the basic rules of safety. ie. don't cut across two lanes at a time in the middle of rush hour traffic, and know what blind spots are.

Granted, California drivers aren't the easiest to get along with. I admit, we like to go fast, and we have the well founded reputation for not ever completely stopping at stop signs. But hey, at least we are safe. When we merge in 95 mph traffic, we always use our blinkers.

Lastly, I'm not one to just complain and not suggest a remedy. Here is my simple solution: we install in every intersection in Provo one of those cameras that monitors/takes pictures of the cars that run red lights and then instead of giving people tickets, we require them to swim in Utah lake for at least 15 seconds. I'm pretty sure that kind of consequence would scare everyone into a little more road safety.