30 January 2008

Engaging the ebbing economy

The Fed cut interest rates again today. Wow. Two times in 9 days? Good gravy! That's more often than I do laundry. Anyhow, this combined with all the hoo-haw about a possible recession is making alot of people worry about the economic health of our nation. I wasn't too shaken up by all the talk of economic trouble until I came upon a very disturbing discovery just recently. Allow me to explain.

I woke up at 8:26 on Tuesday morning. Normally the time doesn’t phase me considering my lack a rigid schedule at this point in my life, but Tuesday is one of the three days of the week I absolutely have to be conscious and on campus by 9am. I scrambled and got going in lightning speed. No time for breakfast, but hey no problem. There is one easy solution that I historically turn to in moments of caloric or emotional need:

BYU Creamery Chocolate Milk!

As far as I am concerned this wonderful drink is about as close to legally marketing bottled happiness as it gets. Aside from a laughing at a funny joke or a 3-4 mile run, this is the fastest way I know of to introduce endorphins into the bloodstream. As I walked up to campus in the chilled air, I happily thought that drinking a chocolate milk would be just a perfect start to a great day.

However, my morning bliss was rudely interrupted by the depressing discovery I made as I started to surrender my cash money into the vending machine. As I looked down at the price of my favorite beverage I realized that something was wrong...something was very wrong. Instead of the familiar 1.10 that usually smiles at me from item #55, I saw a ghastly 1.15. You read correclty folks, one dollar and FIFTEEN cents! What has this world come to? I've been attending BYU off and on for the last 7 years. I've seen tuition raised six times, been hounded by the Choose to Give campaign every year, and even seen an 45% rate increase in the student sport pass price but no, not once have I recieved such a punch to the financial gut of this magnitude before.

When I finally regained some composure, I tried to come to grips with the new dreary reality I was now encountering. What kind of dire economic straits could have motivated such a price hike? Has the increase of campus construction projects really strained the budget enough to generate cause for the BYU administration to now literally "nickel and dime" all the loyal consumers of chocolate milk? Unfortunately, I had no clear answers. Fortunately, I had a nickel.

In my quest for breakfast Tuesday morning I had a personal showdown with all the economic fears that you hear about in the news. I had faced inflation, and gave it mighty battle. I lost that battle, but in the end I realized the silver lining to the dark economic clouds. Now I have uses for all types of coins: all my pennies go into a sock that I can use to combat possible assailants, quarters provide for to my laundry demands, and now both dimes and nickels can fund the closest thing I have to an addiction: BYU Creamery Chocolate Milk.

28 January 2008

warming up for super tuesday

Source unknown.

“Here’s my take on the 2008 presidential race. There’s no doubt history is in the making. We may have either the first Black president, the first Woman president or the first Mormon president. Why not kill three birds with one stone, elect Gladys Knight and call it a day?”


Heard this one the other day.

Question: What's the difference between a high school history teacher and a large pizza?
Answer: One can feed a family of four.

26 January 2008

burrito of providence

At about 7:05pm tonight I hit up the drive-thru of a local mexican food haven I frequent from time to time. The order was simple: a ham breakfast burrito. The price was even simpler: $3.33. The situation turned sour however as I realized right before it was my turn to pay that in my wallet I had only three dollar bills and a twenty.

I sat in a catatonic stupor for about 3.33 seconds: I really didn't want to break the twenty.

THEN, like a flash of inspiration I reached down into my almost forgotten car spare change compartment and there they were: two dimes, two nickels, and three shiny pennies. I probably would've sat there for another 3.33 minutes and reveled in the moment except there was a car behind me that was filled with guys who looked hungrier than I was.

A few minutes later, I happily exited the drive-thru with a burrito containing enough calories to power the starting lineup of the L.A. Clippers, and a empty change cup. And people say the days of miracles are past...

Take that procrastination!

There, it's done. I finally created a blog. Cross that item off my list! I should probably work on a few more items, but Ian just called me up to go watch a movie with the guys. I'll get back to the list sometime tomorrow.