secret of a good microwave

PREFACE: this post will be more of an opinionated rant than an informed declaration. Though many of you may think these two types of posts seem congruent in most blogs, I usually try to lean towards the former while keeping the appearance of the latter. This post however, will not pull any punches. That being said, on with the rant!!

Guess what we got last week in the kitchenette where I work....a new microwave!!

I am a strong proponent of a regular upgrading of key office supplies, especially the microwave since I bring my lunch most days of the week. This new appliance is a nice one by most standards: shiny white, Emerson 700W, model MW9710W, with a little turntable that spins around at a brisker speed than any other unit I've used in the past. I was pleased that the directors at our office cared that much about my personal lunchtime satisfaction , that they felt it important to provide all us employees with a brand new microwave.

Ah, but the dream didn't last long. You see, there's one huge problem with the new microwave: it is missing the most important feature that any good microwave must have...the 1 Min plus button!

You all know which button I'm talking about don't you? The single best button ever placed on a microwave is the 1 Min plus button. This button automatically starts cooking whatever you got in the microwave for 1 min instantly after you push it. No other action needed. You push, it cooks. Oooooh, and another key function of the button...if you push it again while your delicious food is still cooking, it just adds another minute to the cooking time. In short, this button is the most easy and effective feature ever designed by mankind in terms of modern kitchen appliances.

This little button makes cooking things in the microwave super-easy. Lets look at the facts: I think I went all of last summer cooking things in the microwave everday, while only using two buttons: the 1 Min plus button and the stop/clear button. I never had to worry about the whole long Cook-> mulitple # buttons->Start button pushing process...the 1 Min plus was all I needed.

Don't be fooled by the fancy footed marketing that some of the appliances tote these days, I would assert that any microwave that doesn't have this single feature is simply not worth the investment. In reality, I wouldn't even care if the microwave was missing the clock feature and/or the "8" button (I mean, who uses their microwave to keep time anyway?? and since when does a cooking time really require the number 8? C'mon! If you are using the number 8 when setting the cooking time for a microwave, you are either a real stickler for exactly how long your quesadillas are being cooked (i.e. 48 seconds), or you probably should be cooking whatever you got in a REAL oven).

Going back to my situation. Old work microwave: a little beat up, not quite as powerful, but had the 1-Min plus button. New work microwave: nice and shiny with 18 different buttons, but not the one that counts. I gotta to say that this single feature changes everything, and I can't honestly give my approval to any appliance that falls short in this matter.

Thanks for listening to my rant. And if per chance you hear a story in the news in a few weeks about some deranged grad student rewiring the office microwave into a time bomb...

No. Naw. Nope. No sir, don't point any fingers at me. I am going to the next building over for lunch, where they use a proper microwave. One that only requires me to press 1 button.