Relapse

I work at a treatment center. We help deal with addictions among other things. I have experience challenging relapse of such addictions, sometime fairly intense ones...like yesterday.

ENTER the TRIGGER

So my boss came into my class after school and shared some good news. Scratch that. -Great news-

Turns out that he is going to start charging a higher fee for the SAT prep course our school offers for our boys. This fee is going to reflect closer to what normal SAT prep programs charge. Since normal SAT prep programs charge a ridiculously high rate, and since I currently constitute 1/2 of the SAT prep teachers at our school, this translates into a little more dinero than I previously anticipated.

ENTER the THOUGHT

I rode home feeling pretty swell about this new development. I never really include extra tutoring hours into the income side of my budget because they aren't really consistent. So all of a sudden I have a nice chunk of unexpected income that I didn't have before. Hmmm...what to do with this new development??

ENTER the RELAPSE

I got home, and immediately I spent the better part of the next four hours looking at sites like this.
Then I went to a church function for an hour.
Then I stared into this picture for like another whole hour salivating the entire time (mostly because I was eating Provo's best chimichanga while I was visually consuming specs like these).
Then a gorgeous girl stopped by and helped me break back into reality.

Yep. Some old behavior patterns will never go completely away if left unchecked...or un-pay-checked for that matter.

ENTER the GUILT, SHAME, and REMORSE...maybe